


Mine (You Are the Best Thing)

by cellostiel



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Aromantic Character, Asexual Character, M/M, Trans Character, Trans Reid, Transgender Reid, sex repulsed character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-19
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-07-16 00:55:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7245700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cellostiel/pseuds/cellostiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Hey!" Oh god, one of them is looking right at him, talking to him, <i>walking over</i> to him.  The man flashes a smile and says, "You're Gideon's assistant, right?"</p><p>"I am," Reid answers, fiddling with the stir stick from his drink. "You're, uh, you're one of his students."</p><p>~</p><p>Pseudo college-au where Reid and Morgan meet in the FBI academy and more or less join the BAU together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Everything I know about the FBI academy is taken from TV and a quick google search, so excuse any inaccuracies or straight-up bullshits. Also, I'm only 4 seasons in currently, so please excuse any weirdness that goes with being 7 seasons behind. 
> 
> Also, the rating and tags are bound to change since I'm only a chapter and a half into this haha. I do have some plans for Prentiss to be in a relationship with someone, it's just figuring out which one I want to go with, or if I just wanna make her poly with Hotch, JJ, and Garcia... idk if you guys have thoughts, share 'em? 
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoy! And please let me know if you need anything tagged! (Also it isn't referenced in this chapter, but Reid is definitely trans and he and/or Morgan are aro-spec) (also sorry abt the weird paragraph spacing, I'll try & have that fixed for future chapters!)

Reid darts about the room, making sure all the materials are in place for the upcoming lecture. He glances at the clock for the fifth time in half as many minutes, frowning when the trainees start streaming in and there's still no sign of Gideon. Of course. Of  _ course _ his first TA position is with an agent known for being tardy to his own classes. He respects Agent Gideon, of course - he was ecstatic when he got the TA position - and he understands the nature of his position in the BAU, but none of that eases the knot of anxiety that's quickly building in his chest.

 

He could sub if it came down to it, of course - he knows the material backwards and forwards, add all the necessary materials are here - but it's only his first day, and he hasn't even met Gideon in person yet. He glances at the trainees, all of whom are at least six years older than him and looking at him like he must be lost. 

 

Fifteen seconds to the hour, Gideon bustles in, another agent a few steps behind him. "See?" he says, glancing back at the other agent. "Right on time, like I said." The other agent gives him an unimpressed look, leaning against the wall by the door. 

 

Gideon pokes at the materials on the desk, muttering to himself, and Reid hovers awkwardly nearby. The other agent clears his throat, says, "Gideon," and Gideon finally looks up at Reid. 

 

"You got a question, son?" Gideon asks, looking at him expectantly. 

 

"No, Sir, actually-" Reid wrings his hands together, glancing at the students and the other agent before landing back on Gideon. "Actually, I'm your teaching assistant. We spoke over email? Dr. Spencer Reid." He holds out a hand, and recognition crosses Gideon's face. 

 

"Dr. Reid, right," he says, shaking Reid's hand. "You're younger than I was expecting."

 

"Yeah, I uh, I get that a lot." Reid twitches his face into a self-deprecating smile. Gideon nods consideringly, then turns back to the desk. "Oh! I set everything out just as you instructed, and the slideshow is all ready to go, you just need to, um, to push this button right here." He holds out the projector remote, and Gideon eyes it a moment before accepting it. 

 

"Thank you, Dr. Reid," Gideon says, and turns towards the class. Reid takes that as his cue and goes to sit in the chair by the projection screen, pulling out his notebook and setting it on his lap. 

 

Gideon launches into his lecture, and Reid takes careful, comprehensive notes. He can feel the other agent watching him, but he throws himself into the material, into Agent Gideon's interpretation of it all, and soon enough everything else fades into background noise. 

 

The class passes without incident, and as soon as the students are dismissed, Reid hops up to help Gideon pack up. To his surprise, the other agent crosses over to do the same. 

  
"Dr. Reid, right?" the agent asks, handing Reid a stack of papers. 

 

"Yes, Sir." Reid says, instantly making his posture sharper. The agent smiles, amused.

 

"I'm Agent Hotchner, Unit Chief for the BAU." he says, extending a hand. Reid jumps to shake it. "How old are you, son?"

 

"Twenty-four, Sir." Hotchner's eyebrows nearly hit his hairline.

 

"And you already have a doctorate?"

 

"Three, actually. In mathematics, chemistry, and engineering. I also have BAs in psychology and sociology."

 

"He's looking to join the BAU now." Gideon interjects.

 

"Oh- only once I'm done with my training here. And even then, I'm mostly looking for a consulting position; I'm not really too sure about becoming an agent."

 

"Still," Hotchner says, "that's pretty damn impressive for a twenty-four year-old."

 

"Thank you, Sir." Reid says, trying his best to keep his excitement contained. "I'd have entered the Academy sooner, but, uh, things came up, and I had to delay."

 

"Well, we're glad to have you." Hotchner gives him a smile, and Reid can't help a giddy one of his own.

 

"Thank you, Sir. Glad to be here."

 

"Help me take these up to my office." Gideon says, handing Reid another stack of papers.

 

"I'll give you a hand." Hotchner offers, relieving Reid of half the papers. Reid opens his mouth to protest, but Hotchner is already halfway towards the door, so he stutters out a thank you instead and hurries to catch up.

 

"So, Dr. Reid," Hotchner says as they head towards the elevators. "How long have you been interested in joining the BAU?"

 

"Hotch, it's the kid's first day." Gideon says. "Let him breathe."

 

"No, it's fine, I don't mind. Uh, one of my psychology professors had us study a case of yours; specifically, an arsonist in Tempe, Arizona. I looked into more of your cases on my own, and I was fascinated. I've always wanted to work with the FBI, and the BAU just seemed like the natural fit."

 

"Do you have any prior experience in police work?"

 

"Um, I took self-defense classes through high school and college?"

 

"What is this, an interview suddenly?" Gideon asks. "Hotch, leave the kid alone."

 

Hotchner looks almost sheepish. "My apologies. I was just-"

 

"Hotch!"

 

A blonde woman races up, slipping into the elevator just as the doors try to close. She leans against the handrail a moment, catching her breath and fanning herself with a file.

 

"What is it, JJ?" Hotchner asks.

 

"New case," she pants, holding out the folder. "Hot off the presses."

 

Hotchner raises a brow and tucks his papers under an arm to take the folder from her. He reads it in silence, and Reid resists the urge to lean over and steal a peek. Slowly, a deep frown sets into Hotchner's face.

 

"JJ, gather the team." he says, snapping the folder shut. "I want us briefed and on the way in half an hour."

 

"Already texted them."

 

"Gideon?"

 

"I'll be there as soon as I've dropped these off." Gideon takes Hotchner's stack of papers, taking a right out of the elevator towards a set of stairs.

 

"Good." Hotchner nods, striding in the other direction towards a conference room. Over his shoulder, he says, "It was nice to meet you, Dr. Reid. I'll be seeing you around."

 

"It was nice to meet you too, Sir." Reid calls after him, following Gideon up the stairs. They walk along a balcony wrapped around the bullpen, and Reid leans slightly over the railing as they walk, watching three agents gather things from their desks and bustle towards the same conference room Hotchner went into.

 

"In here." Gideon says, shouldering open the door to his office. Reid jumps back to attention, ducking into the office and hovering until Gideon gestures towards a spot on the desk. "Nice work today, kid. I'll, uh, I'll send you the materials for the next class from the jet. Are you comfortable with substituting?"

 

"Of course." Reid says automatically. "Just give me a rough outline of what you want covered and I'll handle it."

 

"Good, good." Gideon pats Reid's shoulder distractedly as he starts out the door. "Take the rest of the day off, kid. You're new to Virginia, right? Maybe uh, maybe see some of the sights."

 

"Oh, uh, sure." He hesitates outside Gideon's door, wringing his hands together and watching Gideon disappear into the conference room. Well. Looks like he'll be substituting Gideon's Thursday class. Unless the BAU team solves the case in the next two days, which, despite their talent, is unlikely. Reid needs a very strong mug of coffee. And possibly something sugary and terrible for his arteries.

  
  
  


Reid alternates between sips of his coffee, bites of his bear claw, brushing up on the textbook for Gideon's class, and trying to block out the loud conversation from a few tables over.

 

They're FBI trainees, he's pretty sure; he recognizes a few of them from Gideon's class, and the rest of them carry themselves like law-enforcement. Their excitement bubbles over, leading to them loudly talking about their first week at Quantico. Reid can't fault them for their enthusiasm, but can't they tone it down just a bit in such a public place?

 

"Hey!" Oh god, one of them is looking right at him, talking to him, _walking over_ to him. Reid blinks at the man, frowning in confusion. The man flashes a smile and says, "You're Gideon's assistant, right?"

 

Ah, Reid recognizes him from the class. Four rows back, six or so seats to the right of the center. Gideon didn't take attendance, so he doesn't know the man's name.

 

"I am," Reid answers, fiddling with the stir stick from his drink. "You're, uh, you're one of his students."

 

"Yep. So, what're you up to? Wouldn't think a TA has to study for the class they're assisting."

 

"I'm just- just jogging my memory." Reid looks between the man and his group, gnawing on his lip for a moment. "Um, not to, not to be rude, but did you need something?"

 

The man blinks in surprise. "Just… to say hi, I guess? I just recognized you and thought I'd come over."

 

"Huh."

 

"What, is that so strange?" he asks, a slow smirk easing onto his face.

 

"In my experience, yes."

 

"Really? With a pretty face like yours?"

 

Reid narrows his eyes. "I know what you're doing."

 

The man lifts a brow, smirk growing. "And what is that?"

 

"Trying to form a friendly relationship with your TA. I mean I, I can't really blame you, the prospective benefits are substantial - heads-ups for quizzes, tips on the material, possibly even test answers - despite the fact that most of those would be highly unethical for me to share. I am willing to help students with the material, that's part of my job, but it would be unprofessional of me to play favorites, even if I wanted to. So you can stop with- with all this." He gestures vaguely at the man, who gapes at him.

 

"That- shit, that's not what I was trying to do at all."

 

"So you were just… 'being nice.'"

 

"Yeah, man. I like being nice to people. Plus I figure, we're all gonna be seeing a lot of each other over the next few months, may as well try and make friends."

 

Reid frowns. "Really? That's- that's it?"

 

"That's it." The man really does look sorry, and Reid allows him a moment of reconsideration. "Look, uh, I'm sorry for bothering you. I'll let you get back to your studying." He gives an apologetic smile, then starts to back away towards his friends.

 

"Thank you," Reid mutters after him. The man nods, and returns to his group. Reid shakes himself and throws himself back into his textbook before he can linger too long on the encounter.

  
  
  


He shouldn't feel guilty about it. No one comes up to him 'just to say hi.' He had every reason to be suspicious of that guy. It's not his fault the guy might've actually just been a nice person.

 

There's a knock on the door to Gideon's academic office, and Reid looks up. The office is mostly empty, since Gideon spends most of his time in his BAU office now, and he's letting Reid borrow it for the time being.

 

"Um, come in?" Reid says. The door opens, and a blonde woman with blue highlights enters, tapping at the tablet in her hand. She flashes a smile at him, approaching the desk.

 

"You must be Dr. Reid." she says cheerily. "Wow, I wasn't expecting…"

 

"For me to be this young?" Reid guesses.

 

"Old, actually. From JJ and Hotch's description, I thought you'd be like, twelve."

 

Reid scoffs. "If I were twelve, I'd just be starting college." The woman raises her brows, and Reid's manners catch up with him. "I'm sorry, um, yes, I'm Dr. Reid. How can I help you?"

 

The woman beams at him, sticking out her hand. "Penelope Garcia, BAU's guardian angel." Reid awkwardly shakes her hand, and she invites herself to sit down, digging in her bag for something. "I know you're subbing Gideon's class in a few, so I'll be quick, promise." She pulls out a file and slides it across the desk. "Hotch wanted me to give this to you. Mentioned something about a doctorate in chemistry?"

 

"I have one," Reid explains, frowning as he flips open the file. "This looks like HT1."

 

"The what now?"

 

"It's a chemical compound that was meant to be a prescription drug, mainly as a pain medication. But once it got into trials, over a hundred of the participants died of acute liver failure. They tried to cover it up, but ultimately they were found out two years later when they tried to pawn off the same compound under the new name 'Vioplex.' Luckily they were found out before it was released, and the CEO responsible was tried and convicted." He scans through the rest of the file, but it's all notes on the composition. "Wait, this-" He double-checks the last page, says, "This one is different."

 

"The team's investigating a case where that chemical is being used. They think it's the same as that other one, but the expert they have on-site is being sketchy. Hotch wanted a second opinion."

 

"Well, it wouldn't look like it unless you knew what you were looking for, but- but yeah, they- they prettied it up and buried it in additives, but it's HT1."

 

Garcia stands, tapping rapidly at her tablet. "You're a genius. I'll call Hotch, let him know."

 

"Glad I could help." Reid says, watching her gather up her bag. "Oh, here-" He holds up the file.

 

"No, keep it, sugar. Hotch wants you to hang onto it in case something else pops out at you. Here…" she nabs a scrap of paper from the desk, taking a pen from the cup and scribbling something on it, "is my number, just give me a holler anytime."

 

"Um, thank you." Reid says, accepting the paper scrap.

 

"Thank you for helpin' out, sweetpea." She grins at him, slinging her bag over her shoulder. "Come say hi sometime - my cave's just off the bullpen, just ask around."

 

"Oh, uh, sure thing."

 

"Toodles!" Garcia sweeps out of the room, and Reid blinks after her. He wonders if any of the other BAU members are that… eccentric.

 

Turning back to the folder, he gives it a last look-through before slipping it in with the rest of his class materials and tucking Garcia's number into his wallet. Then he gets up and heads for class.

 

He knows the material, he reminds himself on the walk there. He knows it like the back of his hand, can recite it perfectly and has in the past. Plus, these trainees will actually be interested in what he's saying, might actually ask questions and engage in the topic. But that's the thing, isn't it? He doesn't just have to present the material, he has to make sure they _understand_ it. He's never been particularly good at that part.

 

He reaches the classroom with twenty minutes to spare, and a takes a deep breath to steady himself before heading in to set up. To his surprise, someone is already there, leaning against the desk with a carton tray of coffee in his hands. Reid stops in his tracks, staring. It's the man from the other day, and he looks up when the door noisily swings shut behind Reid.

 

"Hey there." the man says, offering a smile. "I brought coffee. I uh, wanted to apologize again."

 

Reid eyes him warily, but approaches. "There's no need to."

 

"I know, but I wanted to. I feel bad for making you so uncomfortable. And- shit, I didn't even think- if this makes you uncomfortable too, I can just-"

 

Reid peers at the cups. "What kind did you get?"

 

The man blinks at him. "Oh. I wasn't sure what you drink, so I got a bit of everything." He points to each cup in turn, reciting, "Plain black, decaf, green tea just in case, and this like, caramel macchiato thing that I'm pretty sure is more sugar than coffee-"

 

"That one." Reid says instantly. The man stares at him a moment, then laughs and hands the cup over.

 

"Whatever floats your boat, man." Reid ignores the comment and takes a greedy gulp of the coffee.

 

"Um," he says, wiping at his mouth and remembering his manners. "Thank you. You really didn't have to."

 

"Like I said, I wanted to apologize. Name's Derek, by the way. Derek Morgan."

 

"Dr. Spencer Reid. But, uh, you already knew that."

 

Morgan smirks. "Well, it's good to formally meet you, Doctor."

 

"No, just- just Reid is fine. Or Dr. Reid, if you want. Or uh, Spencer, I guess."

 

"Alright, Reid it is." Morgan laughs.

 

The other trainees start to trickle in, and Morgan pushes off the desk, throwing Reid a grin.

 

"Good luck with class, kid." he says, winking before jogging up to his friends as they get settled in their seats. One of them says something to him, and the others laugh as Morgan shakes his head and chuckles.

 

Reid knocks back some more coffee, trying to steel his nerves for the class to come. It will be fine, he reminds himself. He knows his stuff, and if he just introduces himself as Dr. Reid, they'll respect him, right?

  
Alright. He sets down his coffee and starts setting up. Here goes nothing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gideon hmms, looking at the doors. "In case the two of you ever end up working together, I'd advise you to be aware of the internal fraternization policies." 
> 
> "Oh- no, no, I would never-"
> 
> "Reid." Gideon cuts him off, holding up a hand. "I'm not saying don't. I'm saying be careful."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super special thanks to my cupcake angrygoomba for helping me edit!! They're super sweet & you should go read their stuff~
> 
> Warnings for descriptions of a canon case, which involves some gore, and a case involving recreational drug use. It's brief, though! As always, let me know if there's anything else that needs to be tagged!

"Sooo," Garcia drawls, and Reid takes a moment to wonder where she got his number. "How'd class go? Did the tykes listen to you?"

"They're all in their thirties or forties." Reid says, holding the phone up by his shoulder as he tries to unlock Gideon's office to drop off his notes. 

"Yeah, but how many of them have three PhDs and two BAs?"

Reid can't help a smile. "Probably none."

"So, answer me: how was class?"

"It went fine. Turns out I was worried over nothing. Almost all of them were mature enough to recognize that Gideon wouldn't have left me to teach if I wasn't capable."

"Almost?"

"Well, there was one trainee…"

"Ooh, I wanna know everything. Including his name. I can pull some strings."

"What?" Reid squeaks, almost dropping his notes. "No! Don't- it wasn't that bad. I don't want him getting in trouble."

"Hmm, I think I'll be the judge of that. Get your cute butt down to my room ASAP. We'll chat, I'll share my cookie stash, and then you can help me decipher this…  _ thing _ I found while digging through Pallagen's records." 

"Um, okay? Just give me a moment to drop this stuff off at Gideon's office." 

"Goodie! Just take a left out of his office, first door on the right under the stairs, follow the hall down to the door with the flowers around the name tag. Can't miss it."

"Alright. Be there in a bit."

"Lookin' forward to it, sugar." 

She hangs up, and Reid shakes his head, wondering what exactly he's getting into with the BAU.

He drops off his notes, then follows Garcia's directions down to her office. He raises a brow at the fake flowers stuck to the door around the plaque that reads "Penelope Garcia - Technical Analyst," but raises his hand and knocks anyway.

"Enter!"

He opens the door and is greeted by a room covered wall-to-wall by computers and screens. All over Garcia's desk are small bits and bobs, all just as colorful as the woman herself. She turns to him with a grin, directing him to a chair with a flourish. "Sit, my pet. We have much to discuss."

Reid eyes her warily, but does as told. "Um, we do?"

"Well, first, spill about that jerk from your class."

"I- I wouldn't call him a  _ jerk…" _

"We'll see. What'd he do?"

"He just… he kept asking questions and, um, I- I think he was just trying to see if I really knew what I was talking about?"

"Gideon let you teach the class. Of course you know what you're talking about."

"That's actually, um, what one of the trainees said." He can feel his face heating up, and Garcia leans forward eagerly. 

"Ooh, do tell. Were they cute?"

Reid ducks his head. From Garcia's laugh, he thinks she got her answer. "As um, as nice as it was, I didn't really need him to stand up for me."

"Mm, maybe, but it got the asshole to shut up, right?"

"It did, actually. Mostly because Morgan told the guy to 'shut up, some of us are actually trying to learn here.'" 

Garcia gasps. "You know his name?"

"We uh, we met before."

"Oh my god, tell me everything."

So Reid recounts his first meeting with Morgan, then their second encounter before class. By the end of it, Garcia's eyes are shining. 

"Oh my god, he's totally into you."

"What?! No, that's- that's…" He's… not really sure how he feels about that. "You think so?"

Garcia nods eagerly, taking Reid's hands in hers. "Spencer Reid, if you like this guy, even a little, then for the love of all that is holy, ask him out. I guarantee he will say yes, and your babies will be smart  _ and _ beautiful."

"I'll-I'll keep that in mind." Reid says, his face on fire. "Um, you said you wanted me to go over something for your case?"

"Oh! Right, yeah, here, lemme-" She lets go of his hands and turns to her keyboard, rapidly tapping until a series of pages and diagrams pop onto the screens. "Okay, so here's the deal-"

Reid listens to her explanation, putting the rest of his concentration on the words and pictures on the screens.

"So the suspect-"

"Unsub." Garcia corrects. "Unknown subject."

"So the- the  _ unsub _ is slipping Lutec to their victims to show everyone that it's just prettied-up HT1?"

"Yeah, but the question is, how are they doing it?"

Something clicks in Reid's brain. "You said most of the victims were attending college, right?"

"Yeah, but only six of them went to the same colleges, and four didn't go to college at all."

"But did they have friends or siblings who do?" 

Garcia's face lights up. "I'll check." Her fingers fly over the keyboard, and Reid's mind keeps churning through the problem. 

"You should tell Agent Hotchner that his team needs to talk to the victims' family and friends. See if any of them went out a week or so before they died."

Garcia pauses, looking at him. "Oh my god. Pill parties."

"It takes so long for the drug to destroy the liver that most people wouldn't think to connect it to a party, and most of the victims' friends and family wouldn't even know what type of party they'd been to."

"And the ones who didn't go to college either tagged along to a party or got the pills as leftovers from their friends." Garcia brings up the victims' faces, accompanied by the names of friends and family who are enrolled in college. "Oh my god. Sara Boyd's roommate isn't a dealer or the unsub, Sara just brought the party home. I've got to call Hotch." She punches a button on her desk phone, and instantly it starts to ring. 

Agent Hotchner answers a moment later with, "Hotch."

"We've got a lead."

There's a beep, then, "You're on speakerphone. What've you got for us?"

Garcia starts explaining, and Reid tries to control himself, he really does, but when she trips up over a piece of information, he pipes up, filling in the pieces and expanding on Garcia's points.

"Who is that?" a female voice asks. 

"Dr. Reid?" Hotch asks. 

Reid's face is burning "Yes, Sir. Um, sorry, Sir."

"I invited him over to take a look." Garcia says. "And it's a good thing I did, look at what our boy genius came up with!"

"Good thinking, Garcia. And Reid?"

"Yes, Sir?"

"Good work. Keep it up."

"Y-yes, Sir." 

He hears a couple snickers from the other line, but then Hotch ends the call, and Reid is left sitting there, staring at the floor, somewhere between buzzing with pride and absolutely mortified.

"Seriously, Reid, you might've just saved a bunch of people." Garcia tells him, smiling kindly. Reid nods, and she says, "Now, lemme just wrap up a couple things, then we can go grab lunch and come back here to eat and you can tell me every delicious detail about this Morgan guy."

Reid finds himself smiling. "That sounds good."

 

~

 

The BAU team get their unsub, and Gideon is back in time for the next week's class. As he walks past Reid to the desk, he claps him on the shoulder and says, "Good work, Reid." Through the rest of the class, Reid has to tramp down on a grin. 

He catches Morgan looking at him a few times, and each time it makes him flush and duck his head, trying to focus on taking his notes and not the conversation he had with Garcia last week where she suggested he lick Morgan's abs if he ever got the chance. One time he looks back up, and he catches Morgan smirking. 

After class, he sticks close to Gideon, following him up to his office and hoping it deters Morgan from trying to talk to him. He does want to talk to Morgan, eventually, but he needs to gather his thoughts first, figure out how to deal with him. He's never had anyone who was actually interested in him before. Sure, there was that thing with Harper and Alexa, but that was all a ruse to humiliate him, and the deception lasted less than an hour. 

Morgan jogs to catch up with them, but it's Gideon's name that he calls.

"Can I help you?" Gideon asks, slowing only slightly so Morgan can catch up. 

"Yes, Sir, I was hoping to speak to you about the BAU. I understand one of your agents is looking to retire?"

"Greenaway is on her last month," Gideon confirms. "You looking to join us?"

"Yes, Sir. I was wondering if you had any advice."

"Why the BAU?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Why the BAU? There are plenty of other departments, most of them far easier on your personal life and your psyche. So why the BAU?"

"Because you find people who are hurting others, and you stop them from hurting anyone else."

Gideon pauses at elevator, looking Morgan over consideringly. "We try to. Don't turn us into a fairytale, kid; far too often we're too late, and when we do stop them, it never feels like we did good enough. It's a tough job, and you won't survive it if you think it's all white knights and saving the day."

"I know that, Sir." Morgan says. "I know perfectly well it'll never be easy. But you do help people, and that's what I want to do. If I can stop even one person from getting hurt, then that's good enough for me."

Gideon nods slowly, looking him over again. "What's your name, son?"

"Derek Morgan."

Gideon's eye lights with recognition. "Morgan. Chicago - the Buford case."

Morgan stiffens. "Yes, Sir. I admire the work your team did." 

"But you were the one that solved it and brought Buford to justice." Gideon notes. 

"Yes, Sir." Morgan says, clenching his jaw.

Gideon tilts his head. "I'll keep you in mind. Once you've graduated, apply for the job."

Morgan relaxes somewhat, smiling. "I will."

"Good luck, kid."

"Thank you, Sir." Gideon turns to hit the elevator button, and Morgan shoots Reid a wink. Reid flushes and tries to ignore it, following Gideon into the elevator as soon as it opens. 

Gideon glances at him as the doors close, and Reid supposes it was a vain hope that he wouldn't notice his blush. "You two know each other?"

"We've, uh, we've met, yes."

Gideon hmms, looking at the doors. "In case the two of you ever end up working together, I'd advise you to be aware of the internal fraternization policies." 

"Oh- no, no, I would never-"

"Reid." Gideon cuts him off, holding up a hand. "I'm not saying don't. I'm saying be careful."

Reid can only nod, following in silence as the doors open and Gideon enters the BAU office. 

"Is that Garcia's wonderboy?" one of the agents asks, watching them climb the steps to the upper offices. 

"Hotch and JJ weren't kidding." another agent says. "He looks like he should be in high school." Reid ducks his head, following Gideon a step closer. 

"Aww, he's shy." the third agent coos. "Adorable." 

"He has more degrees than the three of you combined," Gideon calls, unlocking his office. "So show him a little respect." Reid's head snaps up, and he glances between Gideon and the agents. One of them calls out a clear, "Sorry, Sir! Sorry, Doctor!", another one mutters an apology, turning back to her work, and the last one gives a, "Sorry, Doctor. Good work on the Lutec case." Reid blushes and mutters a thank you, ducking into Gideon's office. 

"Those were agents Prentiss, Greenaway, and Rossi." Gideon says, setting his things down on his desk. Reid nods, setting his notes down in their usual spot. "Don't worry about them, they all like to tease each other; they don't mean anything by it."

"Oh, don't worry, I'm used to that kind of stuff." Usually in a more unpleasant manner, but even so. Gideon gives him a look, but doesn't comment. 

"Garcia tells me class went well on Thursday." he says instead. 

"Ah- y-yes, there weren't any major problems."

"She told me a trainee talked back to you."

"Well, yes, but- but I think they were just as likely to talk back to you, or- or anyone else, for that matter."

Gideon nods slowly, smiling. "That might very well be the case. Do you know how many students like that I've had in my time teaching?" Reid shakes his head. "At least one per class. There's always one. And they're usually the first to drop out. I wouldn't worry about them too hard." 

"Thank you, Sir." 

"Just call me Gideon."

"Yes, Si- I mean, uh, sure thing." 

"Good. See you Thursday." 

 

~

 

"Mind if I join you?"

Reid looks up, mouth opening in surprise at the sight of Morgan standing next to his table. "Um, I- I guess not?" 

Morgan grins at him. "Cool." he says, taking a seat. Reid quickly shuffles his papers around, making room for Morgan at the table. Morgan chuckles, giving him a grateful smile as he sets his cup and plate down. "That doesn't look like behavioral stuff," he observes. 

"Oh, it's not. I'm currently going for a, uh, a bachelor's degree in philosophy." 

"Thought you were looking to join the BAU?"

"Oh, I am. But helping with Gideon's class and preparing to enroll in the academy only takes up so much time, and I've always found philosophy fascinating, so…" he shrugs, putting some of his books away. 

"Damn, kid." Morgan laughs. "How old are you, again?"

"Twenty-four."

"Jesus. You're really something, aren't you?" Oh god, he's actually flirting. His eyes are practically  _ sparkling, _ how is any of this real? 

"Um, I-" Reid glances around, asking, "Did- did you need something, or-?"

Morgan shrugs. "Nah, just thought I'd come say hi. But I can leave if you're trying to study-"

"No!" Reid blurts. "No, I mean- you're fine. It's fine. You're not, um, distracting me or anything."

Morgan beams. "Good."

"So, um, what did you do before the academy?" Reid asks, tucking his hair behind his ear nervously. It's just too short to stay, flopping back down towards his eye. 

"Chicago PD. Worked the bomb squad unit there for a while. You?"

"Caltech and MIT."

"Really? No law enforcement background?"

"No, uh, none at all."

"Huh. That's a bold move, then, going for the BAU."

Reid shrugs. "I guess. Working with the FBI seemed kind of natural, and once I heard about the BAU, things just sort of clicked into place. I wanted to come here as soon as possible, but by the time I turned eighteen, I was halfway through a doctorate, so I decided to stay and finish it, and then-" He falters, fumbling with his pen. "Um. Well. Things came up. I took a break from school - from everything, really - then I went back to wrap up my BA in sociology. After that, there was an opening here for a TA for Gideon, and, uh, you pretty much know the rest." 

There's something soft in Morgan's eyes, something understanding. "I'm sorry about whatever happened to you." he says. "Although, can I say I'm glad you're here now?

Reid feels his face flushing, despite the unpleasant memories bubbling at the edge of his thoughts. "Um, I- I guess? I mean, the FBI needs everyone they can get, so-"

"No, I mean-" Morgan's eyes crinkle as he chuckles. "I mean, I'm glad I got to meet you."

Oh. "B-but you don't even know me." Reid points out. 

"Well, I'd like to fix that." Christ, is that smile charming. 

"I- uh- okay? Wh-what does that entail, exactly?"

Morgan shrugs, says, "Hanging out? Coffee? I don't know, man, whatever you're into." 

Reid just barely stops himself from saying that he's not into anyone. It feels like too much to share with someone he's only met three times, and even if Morgan does get it, if Reid doesn't have to extensively explain it, then he might stop flirting with Reid, and it's actually… pretty nice, surprisingly. Reid finds he doesn't mind Morgan flirting with him at all. 

"Sounds- sounds good." Reid says, smiling at Morgan. Morgan's smile grows. 

"Yeah? How about lunch, after Thursday's class?"

"Sounds like a date." Reid says. 

Morgan smirks. "Yeah?"

Reid flushes. "I mean-"

"I know," Morgan laughs, eyes crinkling. It's ridiculously attractive. "It was just an expression, I get it. It's cool, kid." Reid nods, feeling ridiculous. "So, lunch?"

"Yes. I, uh, I'd like that a lot."

"Cool. So, tell me about philosophy."

Reid eyes him. "Really?"

"Yeah, kid, what're you workin' on here?"

Reid lights up, pulling over his notes. "Alright, so right now we're working on-"

He's not sure how long he goes on, but he vaguely notices dirty looks from other people in the cafe, and Morgan's expression slowly shifts to something like awe and slight fear. Reid's pretty used to both those things.

"Damn, kid," Morgan laughs when the waitress comes by and Reid pauses to order another coffee. "You're pretty passionate about this stuff, huh?"

"I wouldn't be going for a degree in it if it wasn't fascinating." 

"Makes sense. Bet you can go for longer on one of your PhDs."

"Oh, I can. I actually have, I think."

"Well, now, that's something I have to see." 

"I mean, if I ever substitute again, more likely than not you'll get what you want."

"You like being a TA?"

"Oh, yeah, it's- it's good, you know? And the material is so interesting."

"Yeah, that's one word for it." Morgan says amusedly. "I'm with you, though. This stuff's… for a lack of a better word... fascinating." 

"So, um, how's the academy going for you?"

"Brutal." Morgan answers, grinning. "But good. Real good. You said you're enrolling soon?"

Reid looks down at his hands. "Maybe. I'm not sure." 

"Well, for what it's worth, I think you'd be a good agent." 

Reid flushes. "Thanks. I'll uh, I'll think about it."

 

~

 

"Dr. Reid?" Reid looks up to find the blonde woman from the elevator standing in the open doorway. "Do you have a moment?"

"Of course." He sets aside his papers and waves her in.

"I'm JJ, by the way." She says, crossing over with her hand extended. "I work as the BAU's liaison."

"Oh, it's- it's nice to meet you. What is it you need?"

"I hear you have a doctorate in engineering. Wanted some insight on a possible case, see if it needs to be brought to the team."

"I'll take a look, but I can't promise I can help."

"I just need your thoughts."

Reid flips through the file she hands him. "That's weird."

"What is?"

"Well, they're definitely tampering with these machines, but it's weird, if they really wanted to shut down the machines, there are a lot simpler ways of doing so. It almost looks like their goal was actually to hurt these people."

"You're sure?"

"I wouldn't go that far, but something is definitely odd here. I don't know if it should be a BAU case, but someone should definitely look into this." He hands her back the folder, getting up as she stands to leave.

"Thank you, Dr. Reid, this is extremely helpful. I hope we'll get the chance to work together in the future."

"Thank you. I hope so, too." 

 

~

 

"Since many of you are looking at a career in the BAU, we thought we'd give you a taste of what it's like - with a former BAU case." Gideon waves for Reid to start the slides. 

"What's the case?" Morgan asks. 

"A string of murders in New Orleans." Agent Hotchner says. "Their throats were slashed, and the unsub cut them open with surgical precision. There were three before hurricane Katrina, and the unsub was thought to have perished during the storm. A year and a half later, another body turned up."

"Victim type?" another trainee asks.

"Male, brown hair, roughly average heights and builds. All between their early twenties to mid-thirties." 

"All the later murders took place during Mardi Gras." Gideon adds. "Each victim was out with friends when they were lured away and killed." 

"Sounds like you have a female unsub." Morgan says.

"What makes you say that?" Gideon asks, but there's a slight smile on his face.

"I mean, come on. Mardi Gras with the guys? Unless your victims were gay or bi, there's only one reason they'd go off on their own."

"Very good. Now, with female serial killers, basically you have two types-"

"The Sante Kimes model." Reid says. "Cold, calculating, preys on men for money. They tend to take their time building relationships. But with this case it's more likely we're dealing with the Aileen Wuornos archetype - motivated by paranoia and fear, luring men with sex." Hotchner, Gideon, and the trainees all stare at him. Reid realizes he should've let Gideon explain, or waited for a trainee to answer. He clears his throat, looking down at the floor. "Sorry."

Gideon turns back to the class. "Now, how should we go about investigating?" 

Reid manages to hold his tongue through most of the class, trying to solve the case in his mind, right up until Hotchner presents the letters. 

"Wait, 'Boss?' With- with that, the way they refer to the victims, and the cause of death- aside from the gender of the victims and the gender of the unsub herself, it all sounds like Jack the Ripper, doesn't it?"

Hotchner and Gideon both look somewhere between impressed and disapproving. Crap. Reid's interrupted again.

"Sorry." he says, shrinking back.

"He's right." Hotchner says to the class. "And he got that before any of you. Our unsub was emulating Jack the Ripper in her killings." 

He gets a couple of glares for that, but he can't help feeling good under Hotchner's praise, especially when he spots Morgan in the crowd, giving him a proud little smile. 

He spends the rest of the class only half paying attention, taking notes on autopilot. Instead, his mind is churning away at his interactions with Morgan, wondering just what Morgan's intentions are. He's been flirting, Reid thinks - and he trusts Garcia's judgement on the matter. The question is, what are Reid's intentions with Morgan? Would he want to try dating Morgan, if he were to offer?

It's rather a moot point, he realizes as Gideon ends the class and Morgan shoots Ried a grin when no one's looking. Reid smiles back, hoping it doesn't look as weak as it feels. Maybe Morgan's flirting with him, or maybe he flirts with everybody; but even if he is flirting for real, sooner or later he'll discover Reid's whole mess, and he'll realize he's made a mistake - Reid knows no one would really want someone like him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note: Reid isn't referring to his transness at the end here. It's part of his concerns, but Reid has a lot of things he's insecure about, and that's not really at the top of his list. Just wanted to clear that up in case some people are concerned!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I want you to come with us, offer any further insight you might have."
> 
> Reid gapes. "I- thank you, Sir-"
> 
> "How soon can you be ready to go?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there, have a new chapter! The case referenced in this chapter is Fear and Loathing, in case anyone needs a brush-up. Also, please forgive any inaccuracies re: Reid's addiction and how he and Morgan talk about their experiences.
> 
> Warnings for mentions of Reid's addiction, Reid describing an altered version of the events of 'Revelations,' and Morgan talking about the events of 'Profiler, Profiled' and his abuse. If anything else pops out at you, let me know.

Reid has a lot to be self-conscious about, he supposes. Even if his IQ and eidetic memory didn't drive people away, he knows he's more than gangly and awkward enough to make up for it. Then there's the family history of schizophrenia, him being transgender, the state of his transition, and his asexuality and sex repulsion. Not to mention the whole… Dilaudid situation. He's clean, has been for almost a year now, but there's always that chance, that slippery slope. 

Even with all that aside, there's still his personality. He's very aware of how unbearable people can find him, despite his best efforts. 

"So, where are you from?" Morgan asks, popping a fry into his mouth. 

"Vegas." Reid tells him. Morgan's brows go up, like everyone's do. 

"Really? Bet you cleaned up, huh?" 

"Well, I left town before I was old enough to gamble."

"How about now? You'd make big money doing it."

Reid shrugs. "I'm not really interested in it. I only play the virtual poker in the airport while I'm waiting for a flight out."

"You go home often?"

"Few times a year, to see my mom." Reid clears his throat, stabbing a cherry tomato with his fork. "You?"

Morgan grins. "Chicago. Born n' raised. This is my first time living outta state." 

"I was there for a conference once." Reid recalls. "I don't know how anyone can stand the cold. Or the wind." 

"Eh, you grow up there, you get used to it." Morgan laughs. "When I was little, I'd almost get blown over by it sometimes. Hell, I still do."

Reid shudders. "I think I'll stick with the desert."

Morgan's laughter is bright and clear, and it… it makes Reid feel warm. Then his mind supplies a sample of what it might sound like if Morgan laughed  _ at _ him, and that warm feeling sinks pretty fast. 

He doesn't get long to linger on it, thankfully, because someone says, "Wonderboy?" and he looks up automatically. Two of the BAU agents are standing there, one of them giving him a pleasantly surprised smile, the other looking over Reid and Morgan with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh! Um, you're- you work with Agents Hotchner and Gideon." Reid says, making a move to get up. 

"Oh, no, no! Don't let us disturb you. I thought it was you, though! How are you?"

"I'm good. I'm, uh, sorry, but I don't think I know your names?"

"Right! I'm Emily. Or Agent Prentiss." She extends her hand, and Reid takes it carefully. "And this is Agent Greenaway." She gestures to the woman next to her, who silently shakes Reid's hand with a sharp nod. 

"Dr. Spencer Reid." he introduces himself formally. "And this is- um-" He's not quite sure what to call Morgan. Friend? Acquaintance?

Morgan saves him the trouble by holding out his hand, flashing a charming grin, and saying, "Derek Morgan. Officer, but I'm working on that Agent title." 

"Nice! You looking into any specific departments?"

"The BAU, actually." 

"Good luck with that." Greenaway says, and Reid's not at all sure if she's being sarcastic or not. 

"It's a tough job, but I wouldn't trade it for the world." Prentiss tells them. 

"I would." Greenaway mutters. "But, I mean, that's me. The job's been hell on me, but some people are luckier." She looks at Reid, asks, "You're looking to join too, right?"

"Ah, yes!"

She looks him over critically. Then her eyes soften. "Take my advice, kid: toughen up. Otherwise, this job's gonna eat you alive." She turns and starts to walk away. 

"O-oh, thank you." Reid says, feeling himself deflate. Greenaway stops, glancing back at him.

"But- but maybe don't lose all of that." She gestures to him, and he thinks he knows what she means. "If you let yourself lose all of it, then the job's gonna kill what makes you… you." With that, she leaves, heading over to the pickup counter in the corner.

"I'm… sorry about that," Prentiss says awkwardly. "Greenaway's a nice person, really, but she can be a little…" She shrugs, wincing apologetically. 

"It's okay, really." Reid says. "I think she's right." 

Prentiss looks unsure what to say for a few moments, then says, "It's not all bad. There- there are some good things about it. It's a good job, if you're up for it." 

Reid smiles. "Thank you."

Prentiss nods. "I, uh, I better get going. Sorry for disturbing your lunch."

"Not at all." 

"Yeah, thanks for come saying hi." Morgan says, giving her a grin. Prentiss follows after Greenaway, and Morgan's grin falls into a worried look. "You okay?" he asks Reid.

"Yeah, fine." Reid says quickly. "Sorry, you were saying?"

Morgan watches him a moment, then leans forward on his arms. "Seriously, you okay? You seem kinda shaken." 

"No, I'm good, really." Reid insists. "Just- what she said about toughening up."

"Hey, I'll admit, 'FBI agent' isn't the first thing that comes to mind, looking at you, but that doesn't mean you're not just as qualified-" 

"No, it's not that. I know how I look, how I act; I know I seem naive. But, uh, I've already had to- to 'toughen up.' Just brought up some… unpleasant memories, is all."

Morgan's expression gentles. "You wanna talk about it?"

"Not particularly." Reid says, shrugging. "I mean, not here or now, at least." 

"Okay," Morgan agrees easily, nodding. "I'm here to listen whenever, you know? Here, lemme give you my number." He digs in his pocket and pulls out his phone.

"Oh, no, that's- you don't have to do that, I mean-"

"Nonsense." Morgan flashes him a smile, slides his phone across the table. "Shoot yourself a text, then save my number."

"Um, okay." Reid takes the phone, fumbling for a minute before he figures out where the text feature is. He puts in his number and sends himself an awkward text. Morgan grins as Reid hands him back the phone.

"Awesome." Morgan says. "And feel free to call me if you just wanna hang out, too. Anytime."

Reid flushes. "Um, thanks." 

Morgan gives him an indecipherable look that has Reid blushing harder, then he grabs a fry, bites down on it, and asks, "So, sports?"

 

~

 

Reid may think about kissing Morgan, sometimes. He tries not to do it in class, but sometimes his mind wanders. He thinks about Morgan holding him close, kissing him languidly. They have all the time in the world in his imagination, and Morgan makes good use of it. 

His fantasies almost always end with Morgan starting to make a move, and Reid's stomach churns. As much as he'd like to kiss Morgan, anything beyond that just… doesn't sit right. Morgan will probably laugh him out of the room when he finds out.

Depressing, self-deprecating thoughts aside, Reid's been having an amazing time hanging out with Garcia. She usually calls him up for a consult on a case, but then she'll have him stay for hours after, asking him about things and educating him on pop culture. 

He's hung out with JJ a few times, too. She took him out for coffee to thank him for his help in the sabotage case, and soon Reid had the focus of JJ's sisterly protection. He's even met up with Prentiss once or twice. She's nice enough, but still awkward around him after the incident at the diner. Greenaway nodded at him once when he passed through the BAU bullpen, but that's about it. 

Reid's been working with Gideon for almost a month when he notices the chessboard hidden under a pile of papers, and Gideon raises a brow, asking, "You play?" Were it anyone else, Reid might scoff. Does he  _ play? _

Gideon beats him five times in a row. Reid is about to challenge him to a sixth, but then Agent Hotchner pokes his head into the room and says, "Gideon, we have a case."

"I'll be right there." Gideon says, getting up. "Good game, Dr. Reid."

"Oh, um- you, too." Reid calls after him. He sits there awkwardly for a few minutes before getting up and heading to his office. 

It's been long enough, he thinks - he can call it his office. The one time Gideon was in here, he glanced around and suggested Reid personalize it a bit. 

"Maybe a- a mug, or a family picture, or something." he offered. Reid just nodded and tried to think if he had a good picture of his mom anywhere. 

Reid shuffles through the piles of papers on his desk, reading through each one twice before grading them. As soon as Gideon saw how fast he could read, he put him on grading duty. He reviewed a handful, of course, made sure Reid made fair judgements, but he's more or less left it up to Reid now. 

He's just doing his final pass through to check the grades when Agent Hotchner knocks on his door. 

"Agent Hotchner!" Reid says, getting up. "How, uh, how can I help you, Sir?"

"Just Hotch is fine." Hotchner tells him. "I want you to look at a file."

"Of- of course." Reid takes the file, sits down to look through it. Someone is killing young black girls, and with their most recent victim, they killed her ex-boyfriend, too. His stomach churns when he gets to the pictures of the victims. He feels the hard dirt at his back, the cornstalks scratching at his skin.

He clears his throat, flipping past the photos. He raises his brow at the letter. "This is odd."

"What?"

"This doesn't sound like your unsub. It says he's probably a male? This letter was written by a woman."

"How do you know?" 

"'Take care to stop this.' It implies empathy. Males don't use this type of language, especially when they're trying to threaten someone."

Hotch nods slowly. "How soon can you be ready to fly to New York?"

"Ex-excuse me?" 

"I want you to come with us, offer any further insight you might have."

Reid gapes. "I- thank you, Sir-"

"How soon can you be ready to go?"

"Right! Um, right away?"

"Good. I'll take you to the airstrip." 

"Oh, um, who's going to teach Gideon's class while we're gone?" Reid asks, slinging his bag over his shoulder."

"Gideon had substitutes before you, Doctor. We'll call one of them up." 

Hotch drives him to the airstrip, where a private jet sits waiting for them. Reid waits for Hotch to turn, to take them to the real plane, but Hotch leads him onto the jet. It's even nicer on the inside.

"Pretty rad, huh?" Prentiss says, grinning at Reid. 

"I didn't realize the BAU had these kind of resources." Reid says dazedly.

"Well, how else do you think we get everywhere so fast?" an agent says. "Dr. Reid, right? I'm Agent Rossi."

"Nice to meet you." Reid says as Prentiss guides him to the couch. The jet has a  _ couch _ . Reid glances around, notices Gideon and JJ missing. He's about to ask after them when Greenaway says,

"Jesus, what's taking them so long? Wouldn't think it'd be that hard to find a trainee."

Prentiss' phone buzzes. "They're on their way." she says, holding it up. 

"When they get here, I want you to share your thoughts on the letter." Hotch tells Reid.

"Yes, Sir."

JJ finally climbs onto the plane a few minutes later, followed by Gideon and- is that Morgan?

"This is Officer Morgan," Gideon says, waving a hand at him. "He's going to be consulting on this case. Morgan, these are agents Hotchner, Prentiss, Greenaway, and Rossi."

"Just call me Hotch." Hotch says, shaking Morgan's hand. "Have you been briefed?"

"Read the file on the drive over." Morgan says. His eyes drift over the collection of agents, catching on Reid. Hotch notes his surprise, says, "I believe you know Dr. Reid? He's Gideon's teaching assistant."

"Yeah, of course." Morgan says, shooting Reid a smile. "You're consulting too?"

"He is," Hotch says, "and he had some insights on the letter the latest victim was sent."

"Right! So, from the contents of the letter, it's most likely the writer was a woman-"

He goes through his insights on the letter, taking in the team's own thoughts on it and responding. They end up with a good idea of who the author of the letter is, and they dig into the profile for the actual unsub.

"Nice job back there, kid." Morgan says as they're getting off the jet. 

"You did pretty good, too." Reid tells him. They smile at each other, then go to catch up to the team. 

Reid feels off the entire time they're on the case. The pictures of the girls, left dead in the dirt, haunt him. He hasn't gotten this jittery, craved this bad, since he first got clean. Hotch gives him sideways glances, but it's Gideon who sits him down at the end of the case, while they're waiting for the jet to fuel up.

"It's not a bad thing if you decide the job's too much." he says. Reid blinks at him.

"No, I- I loved working with the BAU team this past week. I just-" He looks away, picks at the material of the armrests. 

"The victims remind you of yourself."

Reid looks up in surprise. Oh. Of course Gideon would know. Now he feels stupid. "Yeah." 

"It's natural. But whether or not that's something you can push past to get the job done is something you'll have to figure out."

Reid nods slowly, staring at the floor.

"Don't get me wrong; I'm sympathetic. I'm simply laying out the facts so you can make the best decision for yourself and this team."

"Thank you, Sir."

Gideon smiles gently. "You're going to be okay, Reid. I don't know what you're going through, but you're a smart kid; you're resilient. You'll be okay."

Reid's eyes sting. "Thank you, S- …thank you, Gideon." 

Gideon nods, then reaches into his bag for a portable chess board. "Quick game before we take off?" 

Reid smiles. "I'd love to."

 

~

 

After a few rounds once they've taken off, Gideon moves to the seat across from Hotch to talk to him about something, and Reid looks around, unsure what to do with himself. He doesn't have to think long before Morgan appears beside him, asks, "This seat taken?"

"No, uh, go- go ahead." Reid says, tucking his hair behind his ear. 

"You doing okay?" Morgan asks, taking a seat. "You seem kinda shaken up."

"No, I'm- I'm fine, really."

"You sure? I know the first time's the roughest." 

"It's, um, not my first time." Reid admits. 

"Thought you said you'd never worked with police before."

"I-" Reid glances around. All of the BAU seems to be doing their own thing, but it's still close enough that they can hear. Reid's not sure he wants them to know something that makes him so vulnerable. Gideon and Hotch are fine, but the others… "I'll tell you after we've landed." 

Morgan nods easily, says, "Why don't you come over for lunch? I make a mean grilled cheese." 

Reid smiles slightly. "That sounds nice."

"Good. You can meet my dog, too: Clooney."

Reid snorts. "You named your dog Clooney?"

"Hell yeah, I did."

"Most animals don't like me." he warns. Morgan grins. 

"Clooney likes everybody."

"I'm just warning you." Reid laughs. "My friend Ethan calls it the 'Reid Effect.' Applies to small children, too." 

"Well, I'll keep that in mind." Morgan chuckles. "Really, though, Clooney's a good dog, I'm sure he'll like you." 

 

~

 

Clooney stares at Reid like he expects Reid to bite him.

"Clooney, hey, be nice. Reid's a friend." Morgan admonishes him. Clooney tilts his head and whines. "Just relax and take a seat," Morgan tells Reid. "I'll get started on those grilled cheese."

"Um, okay." Reid carefully sidesteps Clooney and goes to Morgan's kitchen table. Clooney follows him with his head, then gets up and sets up sentry at the kitchen entrance.

"What kinda cheese you prefer?" Morgan asks over his shoulder as he digs through the fridge. 

"Any kind is good." 

Morgan starts pulling things out of the fridge and setting up on the counter, and Reid plays with the sleeves of his cardigan, pulling them over his hands and picking at loose threads. He's still going to tell Morgan, still  _ wants _ to tell him, it's just… figuring out where to start.

"Does, um," he says when Morgan is waiting for the bread to toast on the griddle. Morgan looks up, turning to keep an eye on both the bread and Reid. "Does the name 'Tobias Hankle' mean anything to you?"

Morgan frowns, thinking. "I don't think so? Why?" 

"Well, um-" Reid's hands are shaking. God, he hasn't really had to tell anyone since his statement. He told his support group that he was a victim and that's where he got addicted to Dilaudid, and no one pressed him any further. "I… he-" Reid stops, swallows, stares at the table to avoid looking at Morgan. "He killed a bunch of people - slashed their throats. He, uh, he killed them because, in his eyes, they were sinners."

Morgan turns the heat down, then leans back against the counter, giving Reid his full attention. "I think I may have heard about that. Georgia, right?" 

"I was in town for a conference. My laptop was having troubles, so I called the local IT - Hankel picked up, helped me fix the issue. He also turned on the camera so he could watch me like he watched the others, waiting for us to commit some sin he could use as an excuse to-" He stops, takes a deep breath, then continues, "He saw me kissing my friend, Ethan." 

Morgan's brows go up. "Your guy friend?"

"Yeah. Hankel tried to break into my hotel room, but I ran into him outside and- and something didn't seem right, so I ran. He caught up with me, found Ethan's police badge; he- he left it in my room, and I was going to take it back to him when Hankel-" Reid's voice cracks. He clears his throat, continues, "He thought the badge was mine. Kept talking about how I was an- an agent of the devil. He… he kidnapped me. Tortured me." 

"Reid," Morgan breathes. 

"I'm one of his victims." Reid says plainly, glancing up at him. Morgan has a soft, understanding look on his face, and it makes Reid ache. "It's been two years, and I still remember it all vividly. Cons of having an eidetic memory, right?" His mouth twists in an ugly smile. "The victims of this case we worked, the pictures of them just- they reminded me of when Hankel took me down in the cornfield, how vulnerable and  _ defenseless _ I felt." 

Morgan starts to say something, but Reid cuts him off, saying, "You know what- what the worst part was? Even when it was over, when I was rescued and he- he was dead, it wasn't…  _ over. _ He- Hankel's one good personality, he shot me up with a drug to numb the pain, and he got me  _ addicted. _ It was  _ months _ before Ethan caught on and helped me get clean. I relapsed a few times, finally found my reason to stay clean."

"The BAU?"

"Can't be an agent if you're a junkie. It's been almost a year now." 

There's a long silence, Reid bracing himself for whatever negative reaction Morgan might have, and Morgan presumably unsure what to even say. 

Then Morgan says, "I'm a victim, too." 

Reid looks up. "What?"

"Not- not of Tobias Hankle, obviously, but-" Morgan pauses to take a deep shaky breath. "Do you remember what Gideon said? About Carl Buford?"

"You put him away."

"Yeah. But before that, I was a suspect for his crimes. He killed four boys, and framed me for them."

Reid frowns. "Why you?"

"Because I was his first victim." Morgan shifts, drawing himself up like he's bracing for his next words. "He raped me, and god knows how many other boys. If it weren't for the BAU, I might be in jail right now, and he'd still be out there, hurting kids." 

"If it weren't for the BAU crisis team, I'd be dead." Reid says softly. 

"I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"I'm sorry for what happened to you." 

Morgan's mouth pulls in a tight smile. "At least they brought us here, where we can help people." 

Reid smiles uneasily back. "Yeah. Can I wish it'd been a little less awful, though?"

"Of course," Morgan says, laughing in a light huff. "Grilled cheese?"

"Please." A real smile tugs at Reid's mouth, and Morgan returns it, turning back to the stove. 

Over admittedly the best grilled cheese he's ever had, Reid says, "I really could have done without him finding my binder and cutting it off."

Morgan blinks at him. "Binder?"

"Yeah, I-" Fear spikes through him suddenly. "I wear a binder. Hankel found it and- and needless to say, he didn't take very kindly to it." One of the crisis team had called him 'her' because of it, and that hadn't helped anything. 

"Someone that religious, I can't imagine so." Morgan says gently. "I'm sorry you had to deal with that, man." 

Reid relaxes, nodding. "Yeah, it- it sucked." 

"That's putting it lightly." 

Clooney whines, putting his head on Reid's lap. Reid jumps, eyes darting between Morgan and Clooney, unsure what to do. 

"See? He likes you." Morgan laughs. "You just have to bribe him with food." 

Reid picks off a piece of his grilled cheese and holds it out to Clooney, half-expecting to get bit. But Clooney gently licks the food out of his hand and swallows it, tail wagging.

"Dogs are easy to win over." Morgan tells him. "Food usually does the trick." 

"I've tried that before. Never worked." Reid cautiously reaches out, puts his hand on Clooney's head. Clooney nuzzles into it, looking up at Reid with big eyes. "Okay, I guess I can see the appeal."

"Hey, we beat the Reid Effect!" 

"Looks like." Reid laughs. "Thanks. For, uh, everything." 

Morgan gives him a soft smile. "I'm glad you told me; I know how cathartic it can be to talk to someone about it, especially someone who's been through something themself." 

"Yeah." 

Once they've finished their sandwiches, Morgan stands puts their dishes in the sink, says, "Hey, you wanna take Clooney for a walk? There's a nice little dog park not too far from here."

"I'd like that."

Morgan grins and helps Reid to stand, and his hand lingers a little when he lets go. Reid's face is hot as Morgan goes to get Clooney's leash. Clooney tilts his head at Reid, letting out a curious whine. Reid pets him distractedly until Morgan gets back.

"Ready to go?" he asks.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Garcia, right? Good to put a face to the voice."
> 
> "Oh, the pleasure is all mine, I assure you." Garcia says, standing to shake his hand. "I've heard much about you from the others and our good doctor here."
> 
> Morgan smirks, glancing at Reid. "Yeah? Good things, I hope."
> 
> "Why wouldn't they be?" Reid asks honestly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, there, it's been a lil while! I've been working a lot on my other fics, so this one hasn't been getting as much attention, haha;;
> 
> Warnings for this chapter include talk of sex-repulsion; reference to Morgan's abuse & implications that his orientation is tied to it;
> 
> also I want to make a quick note, one that I hope is conveyed in the fic: Morgan's identity is just one way of being ace/aro and/or sex-repulsed. His orientation + repulsion comes mainly from his abuse (though in this is aromantic id is mostly separate from that, if informed in some ways by it) but other people, like Reid, have vastly different reasons for being ace/aro and/or sex-repulsed, and many have no reason for it at all - it's just the way they feel! I'm in no way implying that ace/aro people or sex-repulsed people are in some way broken, and I'm very sorry if it comes off that way to anyone.

Reid's not quite sure why he trusts Morgan so much. Maybe it's just that Morgan is a very trustworthy person. The people they spoke to on the case all seemed to think so, easily offering up information to him. Or maybe Reid just… felt that Morgan would understand.

"Good work on the New York case." Hotch says, flipping through a file as they wait for Gideon to arrive.

"Thank you, Sir." Reid says. Hotch nods faintly. 

Gideon finally comes into the BAU, raising a brow at Reid and Hotch. "What's this about?"

"I have the notes from the substitute." Reid says, handing them over. Gideon nods, taking them and leading the way into his office. 

"There's a case I want your input on before we take it to the team." Hotch says, placing the file on the desk. 

"Okay, give me a minute. Dr. Reid, can you prepare the material for next class?"

"Of course. I'll be in- in my office." He nods a goodbye to Hotch, then starts out the door. On his way down, his phone buzzes, and he finds a text from Garcia telling him to come see her. He tucks his phone away and heads to her office. 

Prentiss is in Garcia's office with her when Reid arrives, and both women beam at him. 

"Come here, wonderboy, let me lavish you with praise." Garcia says, waving him over. Reid blushes and takes a seat, and Garcia grabs his hand, gives it a squeeze. "So, I hear you did good on your first real case?"

"He was great." Prentiss says. "Would've taken us longer to find the unsub if it weren't for him." 

"I'm sure you all would've come to the same conclusions I did."

"Reid, just take the compliment." Garcia chides him. "You did good. Celebrate a little."

Reid smiles slightly. "Okay. Thank you."

"So Em's been telling me about Morgan." Garcia says, grinning. "Sounds like a hunk. Shame I never got to talk to him. Maybe I should come visit you after a class so I can meet him."

"I think you'd get along." Prentiss says. "But, well, you get along with everyone." 

"That, I do." Garcia preens. "So, Spencer, how'd you like your first proper case?"

"It was good," Reid says. "I mean- not  _ good,  _ but- I, uh, I enjoyed the work. I mean-"

"We get what you mean, honey." Garcia says gently. "And working with the team? Besides us, of course. Safe place, here." 

"Oh, uh, it was fine? I don't know, I haven't really gotten a proper read on everyone, yet."

"Well if it's anything to you, the team seems to like you." Prentiss says. "I know I'd like to work with you." 

Reid ducks his head. "Thank you. I, uh, I like working with you, too."

"Aww, so cute." Garcia coos. "I just wanna pinch his cheek!" 

"Penelope!" Prentiss admonishes, lightly smacking Garcia's shoulder. "He's not five. Even if he kinda does look like he is." 

"Hey!" Reid says, but he's laughing. Prentiss' tone was light, teasing. "I'm twenty-four, you know." he says, putting on a pout. 

"Oh, my mistake." Prentiss laughs. "How often do you get carded, though?" 

Reid flushes, looks away. "Every time I go into a bar." he mumbles. Prentiss and Garcia both laugh, and Reid has to join them. This is nice, he thinks. He's never really had anyone he could really joke around with. There was Ethan, of course, but his form of joking around was a bit rougher, a little more physical. Not bad, just… different.

"Think you'll join us on the next one?" Prentiss asks. 

"I'd like to." Reid says honestly. 

"I hope you get the job, sugar plum." Garcia says. Reid furrows his brows at her.

"'Sugar plum?'"

Garcia actually seems embarrassed. "Well, it's just that you're so sweet, and I call everyone cute nicknames…"

"No, it's, uh, it's fine. I'm just. Not used to people calling me nicknames. Or, uh, not nice ones, at least." 

Prentiss and Garcia both give him that look that everyone gives him when he alludes to how he's been bullied throughout his life. Spencer chews on his lip, wishes those looks would go away. He asks, "So, um, Prentiss, what did you think of Morgan? Did you like working with him?"

"Yeah, he was good. Real serious, though."

"Oh, I think he just gets like that when he's working. He's always been really friendly and flirty around me."

A slow grin spreads over Prentiss' face. "Is he, now? Dr. Spencer Reid, could it be you have an admirer?" 

Reid's mouth drops open. His face is on fire as he stammers, "No, no, it's- it's not like that, I- we- it's just- he's my student, I-"

"Reid, calm down." Prentiss says, laughing lightly. "It's okay. I didn't mean to make you that flustered. I was just trying to tease you a little."

"Oh." Reid shrinks in his seat. "Okay." 

"So cute." Garcia says. She looks at Prentiss, asks, "Can I keep him?"

"I don't know, P," Prentiss says at length, "that's a lot of responsibility."

"Oh, oh, I'll feed him and walk him and everything! Please?" 

"Hey! I'm not a dog!" Reid complains. 

"But you are cute as one." Garcia says, grinning. "I've decided. I'm taking you under my wing, young one." 

"I'm not that much younger than you." It sounds petulant even to his own ears. 

"I know, sweetie." Garcia laughs. "I'm just teasing. Better get used to it; we do that a lot around here."

"Good to know?" 

"It's all in good fun." Prentiss assures him. "We're like a family, here. None of us would actually try to hurt one another." 

Reid lets out a small breath of relief. Everyone on the team has seemed nice enough so far, but hearing something like that eases most of the worry still nagging at him. 

"So, you enjoying being Gideon's TA?" Prentiss asks. 

"Yeah! The material is really interesting, and I'm learning so much, even just going over what I know again. I, um, I really like teaching, too. I've, I've given lectures before, but always as a guest, never as a teacher. It's quite a different experience." 

"I'll bet. I remember my days in the academy, learning from Gideon. He's a good teacher. You going to enroll next term?"

"I'm thinking more and more about it." 

"You should. I'm sure we could still bring you on as a consultant, but I think you'd be a good agent."

"You do?"

"Well, yeah." Prentiss says, like it's obvious. "You're a genius, Reid. You're resourceful and quick-witted, and I know you'd be a terrific addition to this team." 

"Th-thank you." Reid stammers. 

"We were just about to go grab lunch," Garcia says, "you wanna join us?"

"Oh, is that- is that alright?"

"Of course!" Prentiss says. "C'mon, what're you in the mood for?"

"I, um, I actually know this thai place that's not too far from here…" 

"Ooh, sounds perfect. I haven't had thai in forever. Lemme grab my purse."

"We'll meet you out there." Garcia says. Prentiss smiles and puts her hand on Garcia's shoulder, leans down to peck her on the cheek.

"Don't be too long," she says. 

"I won't; scout's honor." Garcia puts her hand over her chest, giving Prentiss a grin. Prentiss shakes her head at her and leaves the office. Reid can't help staring after her. "Oh yeah," Garcia says, "Prentiss and I are dating. I mean, kind of. It's not exactly romantic, but it's- well-"

"Queerplatonic?" Reid guesses. Garcia grins at him.

"Exactly! You know about that stuff?"

"Well, I- I'm… not… romantic." 

Garcia looks at him with wide eyes. "Oh, baby… oh, I'm so sorry for all those comments about jumping on Morgan like white on rice-"

"No, no, I- I like him flirting with me? And I know that sounds- it sounds like I want to jerk him around or string him along but I swear I'm not doing that I just-"

"I know, sweetie." she says gently. Reid ducks his head.

"I've never been flirted with before." he confesses. 

"Oh, honey." Garcia stands, motions him towards her. He stands as well, and she pulls him in for a hug. 

"I really don't think you need to hug me over this?" Reid says, but he tentatively puts his hands on her back. 

"You're now my little brother and I'm offended that no one's ever hit on you."

"Well, uh, Morgan has now, so-"

"And I'm gonna hug him for it. I can't believe no one's ever noticed how precious you are. Who wouldn't want a piece of this?"

"Um, almost everyone I've met? I don't know if you've, uh, if you've noticed, but I'm pretty weird." 

"I don't know if you've noticed," Garcia laughs, "but I'm pretty weird, too."

"But you're- you're charming weird, not- not awkward weird."

"You may be awkward, but you're also freakin' adorable." 

Reid doesn't know what to do with this. The only person who praises him is his mom, and that's- that's his mom, of course she would think he's perfect. So having someone else - someone who's only known him a few weeks - telling him he's adorable and cute and precious? He has no idea how to handle this.

Garcia pulls away, gives him a concerned look. "You okay, pumpkin?" 

"Yeah, yeah, just-" His brow furrows. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Because you deserve it." Garcia says, like it should be obvious. Reid's eyes sting suddenly, and Garcia's eyes soften sadly as she pulls him in for another hug. "Oh, baby, come here." 

Reid doesn't cry, but he lets himself be held. He normally doesn't like to be touched, but Garcia is so warm and kind, and she just- she feels safe.

She lets him go once he's collected himself, then they go out to meet Prentiss. She gives them a curious look, but doesn't say anything. 

They go to Reid's favorite thai place, and the girls tease him for opting for a fork.

"Chopsticks are impossible!" he argues while they laugh. "It's like foraging with #2 pencils!"

"You're a genius, how can you not know how to use chopsticks?" Prentiss asks. 

"Mental capacity has nothing to do with dexterity. Also, chopsticks are stupid." 

"Ooh, mighty vocabulary there, Doc." Garcia teases. 

"I could choose a more articulate word, but I think 'stupid' suits my needs adequately." 

"Alright then." she laughs. Reid grins and is starting to laugh with them when his phone buzzes in his pocket. He frowns and digs it out to look, thinking it must be Gideon or Hotch, but's it's Morgan's name that flashes on the screen with a text.

"Ooh," Prentiss says, leaning forward on her elbows. "Is that lover boy?" 

"Tell him to come join us." Garcia says. "I wanna meet him." 

"I'll, uh-" Reid fumbles with his phone, getting it open. "Oh." 

_ 'hey, pretty boy, I've got a couple hours before my next seminar, wanna catch lunch?' _

Did Morgan just call him 'pretty boy?' What-

"He asked you out to lunch, didn't he?" Prentiss says, smirking. 

"Um." Reid's face is burning. "Should I, um-"

"Yes!" Garcia exclaims. "If the question is, 'should I invite this hunk to lunch?' then yes, absolutely!"

"Oh- okay." Reid hits the reply button, frowns in thought as he tries to compose a message.

\-- _ I'm having lunch with Garcia and Prentiss. _

_ 'oh, okay, maybe some other time then' _

Reid looks at the girls in dismay. "Um- how do I-"

"Let me see, sweetie." Garcia takes the phone from him, looks over the texts. "Oh, I see what happened. Cute nickname, by the way. Don't worry, though, you're fine. Mind if I text for you?"

"Um, no, go ahead."

"Alrighty." She shifts in her seat so he can see the screen as she types. 

\-- _ this is Garcia, wonder boy meant that u should join us _

_ 'ohh, I see. where should I meet you?'  _

Garcia texts him the address, and they get a  _ 'okay be there soon' _ back.

"Oh, I see where I went wrong. I didn't clarify properly."

"It's okay, sugar." she assures him. "You're still learning. Now, about that nickname…"

"He's never called me that before," he assures her. "I swear I would've told you."

"Aw, so earnest. Also, I agree with him; you're very pretty, Reid." Reid flushes and stutters and the girls laugh. 

Morgan shows up fifteen minutes later, and he flashes Garcia a charming smile. "Garcia, right? Good to put a face to the voice."

"Oh, the pleasure is all mine, I assure you." Garcia says, standing to shake his hand. "I've heard much about you from the others and our good doctor here."

Morgan smirks, glancing at Reid. "Yeah? Good things, I hope." 

"Why wouldn't they be?" Reid asks honestly. Morgan's eyes widen in surprise, then he grins. 

"Well, then. Prentiss, it's good to see you again." he says, nodding at her. 

"Same to you, Morgan. How's the academy going for you?"

"It's good," Morgan says, taking a seat next to Reid. Gracia sits back down, mouthing 'oh my god' to Reid and fanning herself as Morgan continues, "Tough as all hell, but good."

"Oh, I remember those days." Prentiss says, smiling ruefully. "You'll get through it, though."

"Damn right, I will." Morgan says. "Where'd you work at before the BAU?" 

Prentiss winces. "It's, uh, classified, actually. Sorry." 

"No, I get it. How about you, Garcia? Classified?"

"Actually, no. I may have, uh, been arrested by the FBI for hacking? And then they hired me. As a hacker." 

"Damn. That's pretty impressive, baby girl."

Garcia lifts a brow at him, amused. "'Baby girl?' You give everyone nicknames?" 

"More or less. Sorry, is that-"

"No, no, it's good, I like it." Garcia gives him a flirty grin, and he returns it.

"Yeah, it's cute." Prentiss agrees. "But if you ever call me baby I will stab you."

"Scout's honor." Morgan promises, laughing. 

They wave down their waitress when she passes by, Morgan orders, and he easily launches into a conversation with Prentiss about guns. Garcia has a point or two to make about gun laws, but Reid's never held a gun in his life. He has some statistics, sure, but he doesn't want to ruin this easy conversation that's popped up around him. 

Throughout lunch, Morgan and Garcia flirt playfully, almost trying to one-up each other with every comment. Reid has to wonder what Garcia is thinking, flirting when her girlfriend is right there - or worse, what Prentiss is thinking, watching this. But Prentiss doesn't seem to mind, even suggests the two get a room with a light-hearted laugh. Maybe they've agreed they can see other people romantically? Reid's not really sure how queerplatonic relationships work. He's read about them, sure, but each account seems to differ greatly. 

They split the check, and Morgan casts a look Reid's way as the girls are getting their purses. "You okay, kid?"

"Yeah, fine." Reid says quickly, digging in his own bag for his wallet. Morgan gives him a dubious look, but lets it go. 

"We are definitely hanging out again." Garcia says, taking out her phone. "Give me your number."

Morgan laughs and pulls out his phone, and they exchange numbers. "Would've figured you could just hit a few keys and find it."

"Of course I could. But that would be rude." 

Morgan shakes his head at her. He looks at Reid again, concern crossing his face, but before he can say anything, Prentiss and Garcia's phones go off.

Prentiss groans. "Another case, already? Guess the fun never stops."

"Reid, you want us to drive you back?"

"I can take you." Morgan offers. Reid almost refuses, but then he kicks himself. So Morgan flirted with Garcia, so what? He's still the same Morgan that listened to him, that opened up to him about his own trauma. This is just Reid's insecurities trying to ruin one of the few good things he's had in a long while. 

"Um, sure." he says. "I'm just going back to my office." 

"Perfect, let's go." 

"See you guys when we get back." Prentiss says.

"Or if they call you two in to help." Garcia adds, tossing them a wink. 

"It was nice meeting you, Garcia." 

"You, too, hot stuff." She nudges him with her elbow, and Morgan grins and nudges her back.

They pay their bill and split up, and Reid's stomach twists with anxiety as he gets into Morgan's car. 

"Seriously, Reid, you okay?" Morgan asks, shifting in his seat to face him. "Did I do something to make you uncomfortable?"

"No, no, of course you didn't!" Reid says. "I mean- it's just me, I promise." 

"How do you mean?"

"It's nothing, I-" Reid looks away, ducking his head. "It's just my brain working against me." 

"You wanna talk it out?"

"Not particularly."

"Okay." Morgan returns to a proper seating position, puts his keys in the ignition.

"I mean-" Reid blurts. "I mean it's just- it's stupid, I'm sorry." 

Morgan turns back to him patiently, puts a hand on the console near Reid's arm. "Reid, what is it?" 

"You, um, flirting with me, is that- I mean-"

"You wanna know if I'm serious?" Morgan guesses.

"I-" Reid glances at him, immediately darts his eyes back to his lap. "Yes." 

Morgan sighs. "Not gonna lie, kid, it's… it's complicated. Long story short, I like flirting, but I use it more in a friendly way than… you know." 

"Oh. I see."

Morgan's eyes soften. "Were you jealous because I was flirting with Garcia?"

"No, not- not jealous, exactly. More- um- I've- I've never… no one's ever flirted with me before."

"Oh, Reid. I'm sorry, I didn't realize-"

"No, no, it's not your fault! It's- it's me and my insecurities. I don't even- I don't-" Oh god, he's going to throw up. He's going to throw up all over Morgan's car, and Morgan's not going to want to do anything with him anymore and Reid's going to actually die of embarrassment at twenty-four-

He feels a hand on his arm. "Breathe." Morgan says gently. 

"I'm sorry." Reid gasps. 

"It's fine, Reid. Just breathe. Tell me when you're ready."

Reid nods, turning all of his focus on breathing. After a few minutes, he nods again. "Okay. I- I know I shouldn't care if you were seriously flirting with me or not because I'm not- I don't, um," his voice fades, down to just a murmur as he confesses, "I don't really… do romance."

"You don't?" Morgan asks. To Reid's surprise, there's not much shock in Morgan's tone, or any disgust. Instead there's just… curiosity? 

"No, I, um, I've never- felt anything like romance? I don't think? I think I'd, um, give it a try, but…" God, Reid can't look at him. "But then they'd expect sex and I don't… I can't." He squeezes his eyes shut, prepares for the worst. 

Morgan is silent for a long time. Finally Reid can't stand it anymore and looks up at him, ready to apologize and catch a bus back to Quantico. But Morgan is staring at him with this emotionally wrecked expression, and all the words leave Reid.

"You-" Morgan starts, and his voice catches. "You're like that, too?" 

Reid blinks at him. "What do you mean, 'too?'"

Morgan swallows, glances away. "I, uh, I've never had any romantic feelings, either. Not even crushes. I- I had a few that I thought were crushes, but they- they turned out to just be platonic or-" He presses his lips together, looking down at his lap. Quietly, he says, "I can't, either." 

Reid wonders if Morgan means the same thing by 'can't.' "Morgan, are you - and you don't have to answer this - but… are you sex-repulsed, too?"

Morgan lifts his gaze, meets his eyes, and nods. "I thought it was just- that all of it was just from what happened to me."

Reid nods slowly, understanding. "Nothing like that ever happened to me, but I still… the thought of having sex with someone just… I think it's tied to my transness, honestly. I spent a lot of my teenage years feeling like everyone around me just thought I was a sex object, and though I pass as a man now, I still have all those parts, and the thought of someone touching them that way…" He shudders to even think about it.

"I get you, kid." Morgan says soothingly. "It's alright." 

"It is." Reid agrees, looking Morgan in the eye and hoping he understands what he means. Morgan gives him a soft, slight smile, and Reid thinks maybe he does.

"Ready to go?" Morgan asks, putting his hands on the keys in the ignition.

"Yeah." Reid smiles back. "Let's go." 

Morgan drives them back to Quantico and walks him up to his office, but Reid stops him before he leaves. 

"Um," he starts. "The, um, the flirting-"

"I'm so sorry again, Reid-"

"No, I- I liked it." His face is on fire, and he can't look anywhere near Morgan's face. "That is, if you're comfortable still… I don't mind if you keep flirting with me."

Morgan smiles at him. "Yeah?" He steps closer, into Reid's space, asks lowly, "You like the attention?"

Reid flushes. "I mean- no, I don't mean- n-nevermind, I-"

"Reid," Morgan laughs kindly. "You're cute. I may not do romance or sex, but I think you're really cute." 

"You do?" 

"Hell yeah. And I'd love if you let me keep letting me flirt with you and telling you so." 

Reid ducks his head, hiding his smile. "I- I guess I'm alright with that." 

"Christ, you're adorable."

Oh, this is- this is very direct flirting. After Garcia's words earlier today, Reid's not sure how to… well, how to anything. 

"Sorry, is that too much?" Morgan asks. Reid nods slightly. "Okay, I'll tone it down." 

"Thank you." Reid still can't look up, and Morgan seems to understand. 

"Well, I'll leave you to it. See you in class, Reid."

"See you in class." Reid says back, finally glancing up at him. Morgan's smile is blinding. Morgan gives a final nod and starts off down the hall. 

Reid only manages to get his hand on the door before his phone starts ringing. He fumbles for it and answers with a, "Dr. Reid speaking." Morgan stops, glances back.

"This is JJ. We want you in on another case." 

"Of course. Should I meet you all at the airstrip or-?" 

"We're still in the conference room. How soon can you be here?" 

"I'm right in front of my office." 

"Is Morgan with you?" 

"Yeah, um-" He waves Morgan over.

"Bring him with. We could use his expertise." 

"Yes, Ma'am."

JJ hangs up, and Reid looks to Morgan. "They want us on their new case. We're meeting them in the conference room." 

"Then let's get going, Pretty Boy." Morgan says, grinning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wanna make another quick note of this: Morgan & Reid's depictions of ace/aro-ness & sex-repulsion are not meant to speak to everyone's experiences, nor am I trying to say that everyone who experiences these things is broken! if it comes off that way, I sincerely apologize - that wasn't my intent. I merely wanted to explore a version of Morgan who is sex-repulsed because of what happened to him, as well as a version of Reid that is sex-repulsed (incidentally for similar reasons as my own past sex-repulsion)
> 
> again, I'm sorry if this comes off as 'ace/aros & sex-repulsed people are just broken,' know that you aren't, and that people love you no matter what you feel or don't feel.


End file.
